Friday, April 18, 2014

Movie Trailer Review - Transcendence

This is not a review of the trailer, but a review of this movie based entirely on this movie's trailer.  I have a special talent of being able to figure out whether a movie will be any good based just on the trailer and I'm finally putting that talent to good use.  Screw you, it's a real talent.



The new Johnny Depp movie is about, well, it's not entirely clear but it has something to do with Johnny dying and having his brain uploaded to a computer.  After that, I have no idea what happens, but apparently Johnny takes over the world, I guess.  This movie also has that chick from the third Iron Man movie and the incredibly hot Kate Mara.

I've seen this movie pop up on a few "Must See Summer Movie" lists, but based on the trailer, I just can't get behind it.  The CGI looks like crap.  The plot looks dumb.  And most importantly, outside of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Johnny Depp hasn't been in anything worth watching in years (Alice in Wonderland, Dark Shadows, The Lone Ranger, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory were all terrible).  Based on the trailer, I would recommend waiting until this comes on HBO before attempting to watch it and even then, only if you are really really bored.  The only way this movie has a chance at being good is if it has a really cool twist ending, but something tells me that's not going to happen.

What Kind of Fart This Movie Will Resemble:

The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

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