Monday, September 1, 2014

NOKW - The Wolverine

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Wolverine

Basic Plot:  Our favorite clawed mutant is back for the 7th time (yes, I'm counting his cameo in X-Men: First Class).  This time he is in Japan and fighting some more bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it took me way too long to figure out that this movie was set after the shitty 3rd X-Men movie and not after the shitty origin movie.  The fact that staying in a hole in the ground for a couple of hours won't save your from the fallout of an atomic bomb.  The fact that Wolverine's biggest characteristic in the comics is that he is really small, but Hugh Jackman towers over everyone in this thing.  The fact that I still don't know what the Viper Lady's motivation for being evil was.  The fact that Mariko's friend (Yukio) comments early in the movie that Mariko's dad is "okay" at sword-fighting and then proceeds to get her ass kicked by him later.  The fact that I'm still not sure if Japanese Hawkeye was a mutant or just a really good shot with a bow.  The fact that Yashida (the bad guy) blew billions of his company's money on curing himself and only one person noticed.  The fact that I still don't understand how drilling into Wolverine's claws can allow the bad guy to steal his mutant ability.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that while Logan's mutant healing ability isn't working, he isn't bleeding all over the place every time he uses his claws.  In case you haven't seen this underrated movie, the Viper lady puts some sort of machine on his heart that suppresses his healing power and he runs around half the movie bleeding from numerous gunshot wounds.  And yet every time he whips out his claws, those wounds seem to heal immediately.  How?  He can't heal, so every time he uses his claws, his hands should be bleeding but somehow they don't.  On a side note, every time Wolverine unleashes his claws, wouldn't they be covered in blood anyways?  In any case, Logan should be bleeding a lot more than he does in this movie.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that I don't remember this scene with Psy in it."

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