Friday, October 10, 2014

The Far Future of Hollywood

I'm truly worried about the direction Hollywood is headed.  Recently, they have made remakes of Robocop, Conan the Barbarian, and Red Dawn.  All three of those movies' originals are only a few decades old.  In the near future, we will getting remakes of Point Break, Bloodsport, and Naked Gun.  Once again, all of these are remakes of movies younger than I am.  Knowing this, what is going to happen in the far future of Hollywood?  In 30 years, are we going to see remakes of movies that came out recently?  Do we really need a remake of Twilight in 2040?  No, but that's mostly because the originals sucked.  What else are they going to remake that doesn't need to be remade?

Hell, they remade Spider-Man less than a decade after the first one came out.  Does this mean that we are going to see Harry Potter remade in the future?  And if they do remake the Potter series, are they going to make all eight movies?  That seems absurd!  Will we see The Hunger Games rebooted?  I hope not because I'm telling you now, if you haven't read the books, it doesn't end well (I hated the last book in that series).  Will Michael Bay's clone remake Transformers in the future?  Or how about some of today's funniest comedies like The Hangover (only the first one), Dumb and Dumber, or something like Bridesmaids?

Sadly, I am really scared for our children's movie-going future.  Not only will their options be to see either The Expendables 24 or Fast & Furious 51, they will probably have another Avatar reboot coming out.  Hollywood, please hire some original thinkers soon or our children will suffer....and me.

"Sly and Arnold's clones promoting The Expendables 24."



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