Friday, January 30, 2015

Super Bowl XLIX Predictions

It's Super Bowl Time!!  So, you know what that means, Brainfart is going to look into the future and give you the outcome of this game:

Sambo's Pick - I'll put it this way - I want Seattle to win, but I feel like New England will prevail.  Why?  Because they will be super pissed off about people constantly talking about their balls.  If the national media was constantly talking about my balls, I would be itching to kick some ass.  However, I'm still going to pick Seattle.  Why?  Because fuck the Patriots and their cheating asses!  I'm pretty sure I would find Tom Brady cool (in that Justin Timberlake kind of way, where he's super talented and bangs hot chicks, but I would still love to hang out and play a round of golf with him), but Bill Belichick ruined Brady for everyone.  Bill is such a cheating dick that Brady is a cheating dick by association.  And since both of those cheating dicks are Patriots, I am picking Seattle.

Seattle 29 - New England 24


Alex's Pick - I don't really have a strong feeling either way in this game...except for one man whom I love more than all the rest - GRONK!  This guy is amazing.  He may be the most beastly, skilled, un-guardable player in the NFL, but he thinks and acts like a 15 year old.  He acts like Brady is his idol saying "If Tom Brady believes I can do it, then I believe."  He was asked about a fan fiction erotica book where he spikes a football in a girl's buttcheeks.   On cue he said that if someone wants me to do that, I think it's cool.  He was also asked why there was so much interest in him going out and partying to which he replied "Uh, cuz I'm a baller?"  After a game, he was asked about his lineman and he said they deserve to get laid and "They played a great job."  Perfect!  This could be the best player in the Super Bowl!

Gronk 31  - Seattle 24



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