Random Movie Trivia - 40 Year Old Virgin

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

The 40 Year Old Virgin

• The scene where Steve Carell has his chest hair ripped off was real.  That was his real chest hair and they actually waxed strips of it off.  On the DVD extra features, Steve is heard saying that it won't hurt but then after the scene, he claimed it was the most painful thing he ever felt.  Also, the lady they had doing the waxing wasn't a professional and accidentally almost ripped off Steve's nipple.
• Most of the scenes in the movie were improvised especially the "You Know How I Know You're Gay" scene.
• In a deleted scene on the DVD, Andy (Carell) calls a help line to help get rid of his erection and the person on the line is director Judd Apatow doing an Indian accent.
• Judd Apatow's daughter was the one who came up with the idea to have the drunk chick (played by Apatow's wife, Leslie Mann) that Andy picked up at the bar fall asleep at the wheel and bounce off of parked cars.
• Film debut of The Office's Mindy Kaling.
• The counselor at the health clinic where Andy takes Marla (Kat Dennings) is played by his Steve Carell's real wife, Nancy Carell.
• Jane Lynch's character (Andy's boss) was originally written for a man until Steve Carell's wife suggested Jane for the part.
• Steve Carell was actually 43 and the father of two kids when the film was released.
• Paul Rudd came up with the idea for Steve Carell to yell out "Oh, Kelly Clarkson!" during the waxing scene.
• According to Seth Rogen, Steve Carell was so nervous that the movie would be shut down by the studio that he had the writers make a back-up script with no profanity in it.
• Even though all of the main characters are supposed to be portrayed as the same age, Seth Rogen was only 22 when the movie was filmed and everyone else was in their 30's and 40's.

"Yup, totally real."

Stupid State Laws - Utah 2

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Utah

"Birds have the right of way on all highways."

Am I missing something here?  Since when did birds evolve to the point that they can now drive motor vehicles?  And even birds didn't evolve to the point of driving cars, why would a bird have the right of way?  It's not like you can see a bird coming before it's too late and it has done a lot of damage to your windshield as its neck is snapped in half.  And if you are able to see a bird coming, you are on the highway, you're probably traveling at high speeds and there is no way you can stop in time to do anything unless you swerve, but then you would be just causing a wreck which can't be good.  This law is hilariously stupid, Utah, thank you for it.

"I bet this dog is really pissed about this law."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Mike Tyson knocking some people the fuck out.

Summary:  I still say that Mike Tyson in his prime could have beaten any boxer in their prime except for maybe Jack Johnson (look him up) because he was the Mike Tyson of the early 1900's.

Best Futurama Opening Credit Lines

Beloved TV show Futurama is in its last season (maybe) and in honor of that show, I poured through all of the show's openings and picked and composed a list of the funniest one-liners that they gave us each week.  If you have never seen the show (for some reason), each week they have a silly quote in the opening credits like "Now in 4-D" or "Proudly Made on Earth".  It's kind of like how The Simpsons jump on their couch differently every episode, but in Futurama's case, it's actually funny.  So, enjoy the list:

• Featuring gratuitous alien nudity
• Condemned by the Space Pope
• Based On a True Story
• Coming soon to an illegal DVD
• As foretold by Nostradamus
• Touch eyeballs to screen for cheap laser surgery
• Not a Substitute for Human Interaction
• If not entertaining, write your congressman
• Krafted with luv...by monsters
• Federal law prohibits changing the channel
• No humans were probed in the making of this episode
• Psst... Big party at your house after the show!
• If accidentally watched, induce vomiting
• It's like "HEE HAW" with lasers
• When you see the robot, drink!
• Controlling you through a chip in your butt since 1999
• Known to cause insanity in laboratory mice
• Dancing space potatoes? You bet!
• Beats a hard kick in the facebym
• It Makes a Nice Sandwich
• The Robots are Coming! The Robots are Coming!
• The flames in your TV are not part of the show
• There will be a test
• Featuring Sparky, the invisible elf
• We are following you, but not on Twitter
• If this show's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'
• Warning: Do Not Show To Horses
• Made By Hand (and Tentacle)
• Tell Your Parents It's Educational
• Watch it or die trying
• If unable to see this message, turn on Futurama now

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 5

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

Virginia Tech Hokies @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-7)

Thursday 7:30
ESPN

#13 South Carolina Gamecocks (-7.5) @ Central Florida Knights

12:00
ABC

#6 LSU Tigers (+3) @ #10 Georgia Bulldogs

3:30
CBS

#12 Oklahoma Sooners (-3.5) @ #22 Notre Dame Fighting Irish

3:30
NBC

#21 Mississippi Rebels (+15.5) @ #1 Alabama Crimson Tide

6:30
ESPN

#24 Wisconsin Badgers @ #3 Ohio State Buckeyes (-7)

8:00
ABC

-Is it just me or have there been one, maybe two, good match-ups each week this season?  And by good match-up, I mean a game between two ranked teams.  It's pretty bad when ESPN is showing Colorado St v. Alabama in primetime (that actually happened last week) and ABC's two primetime games were Michigan at Connecticut and Kansas St at Texas.  Connecticut lost to Towson.  Towson!  Connecticut should not be allowed on national television, especially primetime television.  Pathetic.  For the most part, this season has been pretty boring and it will only get a little better this week.  Personally, I blame the SEC because it seems like all of their teams are (unfairly) ranked and they refuse to schedule games against quality non-conference opponents.  Jerks.

-A couple of weeks ago, I was playing golf with my buddy BP.  BP is a Gamecock fan, so we try to steer away from talking about football because it will only turn into nothing but insults about each others' team.  So, one of our random topics was "Who is college football's worst announcer?".  My first thought was Lou Holtz because you can't understand anything he says and he is a massive boner, I mean homer (he always picks Notre Dame even if they are a 2 TD underdog).  But I said Jesse Palmer.  I had watched the game he announced the night before we played and I came to loath that guy.  He seems to talk just to hear his own voice even when half the stuff he says is utter nonsense.  Then came the Clemson game last week and it got even worse.  He said so much stupid shit that I swear David Pollack was going to knock him out.  You could definitely hear it in David's voice that he was tired of listening to Jesse talk about things he obviously had no idea what he was talking about and I really thought a fight was going to break out.  So, as of right now, the worst announcer in college football is Jesse Palmer and no one else is even close.

-I had another winning week last week.  I told you I would get back to my winning ways and they will continue or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(There was another sign that said "Samantha, Can Christian Even Pass the Salt?" that I found hilarious.  If you don't get it, it's b/c the hot blond who replaced Erin Andrews on GameDay is married to terrible Vikings' QB, Christian Ponder)

-Alright, enjoy the fifth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 4-2
Season Results: 14-8-1

Show Me Your...Neck?

OK ladies, what is with the scarves?  When did this trend kick into high gear?  Scarves are OK I guess every now and then, but let's try and reserve them for very cold weather when you need everything covered.  Even if you think they look really good, which they don't, that doesn't give you license to wear them in the middle of the summer.  You are no better than the LA hipster wearing black jeans and a black sweater when it's 105 degrees outside.

The only way a scarf looks good is if that is the only thing you have on top. That is acceptable.  And please stop pairing them with boots - you are only compounding the problem.  No matter what, NO guy should wear a scarf in anything but the most cold weather or if he is a wizard plotting to stop "he who shall not be named".

"I have a scarf to wipe all the douche off my face."

Buffy The Vampire Movie Cast

I was watching TV the other day and the 1992 movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer came on and I said "What the hell", and decided to watch it.  The funny thing is, while I was watching, I noticed a lot of recognizable actors in this movie who had small parts and decided to make another fun list.  (Side note - I heard an interview with the Buffy TV show creator, Joss Whedon, that when he wrote the Buffy movie, the studio didn't think anything would come of this movie and they granted him the rights to Buffy which he promptly turned into bundles of cash.)

• David Arquette - What exactly is David famous for?  The Scream movies?  Eight Legged Freaks?  Nope, it's because he somehow bagged Courtney Cox during her prime.  Otherwise, this guy is pretty worthless when you think about it.
• Hillary Swank - Yup, the two-time Academy Award winner was in this movie and she played Buffy's bitchy airhead friend.  She's had a pretty good career since this movie as long as you forget that she played the title character in the terrible sequel, The Next Karate Kid.
• Paul Reubens - Pee Wee Fucking Herman!  Did you know that he also played The Penguin's father in Batman Returns?  Watch it again, he is only in the beginning and he has no lines.
• Rutger Hauer - This is a name most people are not sure who he is, but he has played some pretty big roles in his life.  He was the main replicant that Han Solo was hunting in Blade Runner.  Not too shabby.  He was the bad guy in this movie and he nailed it with an awesome porn 'stache.
• Stephen Root - You may not know this guy based on his name, but if I said "You have my stapler", you would know who I was talking about.  Office Space, still underrated to this day.
• Thomas Jane - He played the title role in that stupid Punisher movie with John Travolta and also played the well-endowed male prostitute in the HBO show Hung.  In this movie, he played Luke Perry's co-worker and is almost unrecognizable.
• Ben Affleck - Oh yeah, Ben Affleck is in this movie.  This role was even before his classic role in Dazed and Confused.  He played a basketball player and is only on screen for about three seconds, but does have one line.

"Yeah, that one-armed vampire is Pee Wee Herman."

NOKW - Gremlins

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Gremlins

Basic Plot:  Little green monsters ran amok on a small town when some dumbass accidentally unleashes said monsters.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that we are just going to skip this part because other than the three rules of owning a mogwai, this movie was too ridiculous to make fun of.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that of the three big rules about owning a mogwai, the "never, ever feed one after midnight" has a big loophole in it.  Sure, a lot of people like to say that it is always midnight somewhere or what happens during daylight savings, but I have a much bigger problem with this rule - when exactly can you start feeding a mogwai again?  The rule clearly states that you can't feed this pet after midnight, but when can you feed him the next day?  Is there a specific time that it is no longer "after midnight"?  Technically, no, there isn't.  It's always "after midnight".  Therefore, you shouldn't ever be able to feed those cute little guys and they should have died off a long time before Gizmo was purchased by this movie's family.  I am not okay with that.

"I know you're hunger, but that asshole who sold you to me didn't really specify when I could feed you again after the clock struck midnight.  Blame him."

Stupid State Laws - Utah

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Utah

"It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.  You can have them, but you just can't detonate them."

Okay, the first part of this makes 100% perfect sense.  You really shouldn't detonate a nuclear weapon.  But it's that second part of the law that is a little scary.  How many people in Utah just so happen to have nuclear weapons laying around?  Are Mormons not allowed to drink caffeine and have sex before marriage, but are allowed to own nuclear weapons?  Am I missing something here because I'm pretty sure it is not okay to own nuclear weapons except if you are the military.  I feel like this is a pretty big loophole for terrorists.  Then again, I guess Utah made it clear that even if terrorists own a bomb, they just can't blow anybody up with it.  Well, I feel a little safer.....kind of.

"Whoops.  I hope they will go easy on me since I accidentally detonated my nuclear bomb."

Saturday's Video of Sunday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  The spin offs begin after the video we posted last week has gotten up to 41 million views!  Check it out here.  This video is a classic set up where we see how old people react to stuff our generation watches:

Summary:  So many funny generalities old people have.  It looks like Star Wars?  It must not be for children because someone is drinking wine in it?  I also like how they think it must come from a book because that's where everything comes from.

Who Is This? Part 2

Anybody?  You can do this, I believe in you!  Figured it out yet?  No.  It's a tough one so I will give you a hint - he won the first pod race he ever competed in.  Yes, that is Jake Lloyd, better known as the kid who played Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace.

What in the hell happened to that kid?  Well, it turns out that he received so much shit from Star Wars fans for his part in The Phantom Menace that he resented ever taking the role and has only done one movie since.  Can you blame him, nerds can be relentless when it comes to their beloved Star Wars and I would want to crawl into a hole if I was a kid when every dork in the world called you a doucheturd (or whatever it is that nerds say).  Then again, I guess that even as a kid, you could beat up all of those nerds....unless they brought their fake lightsabers with them.

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 4

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#4 Clemson Tigers (-13.5) @ NC State Wolfpack

7:30
ESPN

North Carolina Tar Heels @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-6)

12:00
ESPN

#24 Michigan State Spartans (+7) @ #21 Notre Dame Fighting Irish

3:30
NBC

#23 Arizona State Sun Devils @ #5 Stanford Cardinal (-7)

7:00
FOX

Auburn Tigers @ #7 LSU Tigers (-17)

7:45
ESPN

Utah Utes (+7) @ Brigham Young Cougars

10:15
ESPN2

-I've always wondered how exactly Vegas comes up with their spreads.  Do they base their lines on what they think the actual outcome of the game will be or do they base their lines on how they think the gamblers will think the outcome will be?  In other words, do they set their initial lines based on what they really think will be the final score and then just adjust after the betting starts or do they set their lines to however they think the betting public will wager and then adjust once the gambling starts?  For example, Notre Dame has a really large fan base which should result in more Notre Dame fans betting on their own team which should sway the line.  So, does Vegas just automatically give Notre Dame a couple extra points to discourage this or do they really care?  I guess in the end it doesn't really matter because Vegas will make their money regardless and they could care less how people bet.

-Is it just me or does Kliff Kingsbury look like what Adam Levine and Ryan Gosling's baby would look like if they ever got it on?

-Well, I started out 3-0 and finished 0-3, so at least it wasn't a losing week.  I blame Johnny Manziel for my finish.  Alabama was about to take a 21 point lead, but fumbled on the 1-yard line and then Manziel threw a 95-yard touchdown that cut the lead to seven and the line was 7.5 in Bama's favor.  It's amazing how that works sometimes.  And the worst part is that 1/2 point was what made the difference.  Oh well, I'll get back to my winning ways this week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(It says "Even Forrest Gump Got Into Bama".  That's two weeks in a row I picked a sign that was movie related!)

-Alright, enjoy the fourth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-3
Season Results: 10-6-1

Peter King is Crazy

Every Monday Peter King, writer for Sport's Illustrated, writes his hallmark Monday Morning Quarterback column.  I like this column.  I like Peter King.  I also like advanced metrics.  This Monday's column made me not like all of those things - specifically the goat section.  This is what he wrote:

Goat of the Week

Greg Schiano, head coach, Tampa Bay. The choice Schiano had to make with 70 seconds left in the fourth quarter and a 16-14 lead over New Orleans, with a 4th-and-3 at the Saints’ 29, in a game in which neither team had any timeouts left: He could have punted and pinned Drew Brees at the, say, 10-yard line with 64 seconds left. Brees would have needed maybe 60 yards to get into Garrett Hartley field-goal range. Or he could have the August waiver signing from Buffalo, Rian Lindell, try a 47-yard field goal. If Lindell made it, the Saints would have had to drive for a touchdown to win the game. If Lindell missed it, the Saints would get the ball at their 37- and need 30 yards to be in field-goal range. Schiano decided to try the field goal. It was shanked. Brees went 54 yards, sweatlessly, to the winning chip-shot field goal as the clock expired. Bad decision by a coach under fire.

Here is my argument - who punts form the 29 yard line?  Has that ever happened?  I asked a few of my football friends what they would do and punt was the third option for everyone I asked.  Scoring a touchdown is so much harder than getting a field goal, even more so when you know that the Saints had only scored 13 points in the game.  I would maybe argue that they should have gone for it because even if you don't get it you are trading a shot at sealing the win for 10-15 yards of field position.  I also take issue with King slamming Lindell as a kicker.  He is older but this guy is a grizzled veteran.  Why have a kicker if you don't trust him to make a 46 yard field goal?  Now to Peter King's aid comes the dork patrol with win expectancy numbers:

"You can check out the nerd article here."

There is no way these numbers take into account all the factors involved.  The Saints had only one touchdown to that point in the whole game?  Why would Schiano expect one in the last minute?  Maybe some stat nerds kill the coach for the field goal attempt, but if he punted and got a touch-back or they scored anyway he would get much more heat.  Then again if the Bucs don't suck, no one cares.

The Worst Jobs in Sports

Because I love to make lists, here is another one.  Today's list will be The Worst Jobs in Sports.  I'm sure I missed a couple obvious ones, but what are you gonna do?  Anyways, this is what I got:

• Kicker - A football kicker has one job - put the ball through the uprights when asked.  And most times, this job is required as time is running out and if you miss it, your team loses and you are blamed for that loss even though the rest of your team could have played better in the other 60 minutes of play.
• Relief Pitcher - A starting pitcher can have one bad inning and everybody will just shrug it off because it happens.  A relief pitcher who has one bad inning and it is most likely the only inning they pitched that day and probably resulted in your team losing and you can't redeem yourself because you will have been yanked out of the game right after that.
• Big Contract Free Agent - You're a free agent and some team pays you a ton of money to come play for them.  If you don't live up to the expectations of the fans, you are hated on which makes it even harder to get out of the funk you are in.  Not to mention, by signing that large contract, you are probably prohibiting the team from signing anybody else that could also help the team.
• Goalie (Hockey or Soccer) - Your job is to stop a ball or a painful puck from entering the goal.  That's means that all day long your opponent is trying to hurl an object at you as hard as possible with only your body to stop that object.  And if you don't stop it, you are blamed and not the rest of your team for not playing better defense or offense.
• Tennis Ball Boy - I'm going to put it this way, imagine being the ball boy for the 2010 Wimbledon match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut.  It lasted over 8 hours.  I know it took a couple of days to complete, but that's still 8 hours of having to crotch down in an uncomfortable position and then constantly run sprints to grab tennis balls as they go into the net.  That would be torture.
• Janitor After a Championship - Just look at that picture below.  That is a ton of confetti that will be all over the place.  Confetti that will be covered in sweat and trampled on.  I would not want to have to clean that up no matter how much you pay me.  Well, I take that back, I'm sure there is a price at which I would do it.  But it would have to be pretty high.

"Someone has to clean all of that confetti up.  Sucks for that guy."

Random Movie Trivia - Avatar

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Avatar

• Sigourney Weaver said that she based her character on director James Cameron for this movie.
• James Cameron wanted to release this movie in 1999, but the special effects budget at that time would have cost $400 million and no studio would touch it, so it was shelved for 9 years until special effects technology could catch up.  I wonder if it would have become the all-time highest grossing movie if it came out in 1999.
• This movie still ended up being the highest-budgeted movie ever made at $280 million at its release.
• Sigourney Weaver's avatar is seen wearing a Stanford t-shirt in the movie, her alum mater.
• Jodie Foster was considered for the role of Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver).
• The movie is 40% live-action and 60% CGI.
• Though it is never stated in the movie, in one scene a video screen shows that it is the year 2154 and the movie takes place over a 96-day period.
• This is not the first movie to use the term "Unobtainium".  In The Core, the vessel's hull used to drill into the Earth is made of unobtainium.
• First James Cameron science fiction movie that does not mention or involve nuclear weapons.  Also, this is the first movie directed by Cameron since Titanic which came out 12 years before Avatar.
• Matt Damon and Jake Gyllenhaal were the studio's choice for the part of Jake Sully but Cameron overrode that decision and cast the unknown (at the time) Sam Worthington.  Chris Pine also auditioned for the part.
• When Sam Worthington was called about doing the role, he wasn't told anything about the script nor who was directing and just thought this was just going to be another "waste of his time", which is funny because Worthington was living in his car at the time and any job would have been a good thing.
• All the animals on Pandora except the Na'vi and humans have 6 limbs.  Also, the whopping and cackling noises made by the predators on Pandora were recordings of hyenas.
• Because of Titanic's production overruns and costly delays, James Cameron elected to forfeit his director's fee if the movie flopped.
• Cameron allegedly kept a nail gun on set to use on any cell phones that rang during filming.
• Stephan Lang (he played the bad guy) hinted that he might be back in the sequels (3 of them are already in production) based on his final quote of the movie: "You think those two arrows in my chest are going to stop me from coming back? Nothing's over so long as they've got my DNA."

"Hottest blue chick since Smurfette."

Stupid State Laws - Texas

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Texas

"It is illegal to sell one's eye."

Why not?  It's your eye, you should be able to do whatever you want with it even if it involves tearing it out of your own head to achieve that goal.  Plus, why is this even illegal?  Is there a black market for eyeballs out there that common people don't know about?  And if there is, what would you do with an eyeball?  I guess there might be people out there who need an eye transplant, but do eye transplants even exist?  I looked it up and it turns out that no, you cannot transplant an entire eyeball, only the cornea.  I would have loved to have been in the room when this law was brought up to the local lawmakers just to see how seriously such the issue was taken.  Seriously, Texas, what in the hell is this law all about?

"Is this your eyeball you are selling me?"
"It sure is."
"Busted!  This is an eyeball selling sting, you are under arrest, sucker!"

Saturday's Video of Sunday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Norwegian band makes a new music video based on what sounds foxes make.  Sounds.....Norwegian.

Summary:  There could not be a more random song or music video.  The lyrics are amazing and the costumes even better.  The one odd part of the video is that they appear to have hired really good professional backup dancers who are very out of place.

ESPN...Sucks

I know with that title this post could be about 800 things from anything Tebow to ow they don't cover things they don't own the rights to.  This rant is more about the general appearance of the online presence of the worldwide leader.  Check out this screen grab:

Maybe I have not noticed it before but check out the top bar for scores.  Scores are probably a third to half of ESPN traffic, people wanting to check out the latest box scores or, if there are no games that day, see the schedules for the upcoming days.  The first one listed is MLB, a little odd now that we are in football season but it is every day so I give them a pass.  What is next most important (left usually being more important in any list since it is read first)...WNBA!!! What the hell!?!?  Are the games on ESPN? None I have ever seen. Is this because they are doing the Title 9 documentaries?  There is no excuse for the WNBA being ahead of NFL and NCAAF.  This cannot get any worse - what's next.  CRICKET!!!!!  Which way is up - black is white - cats chasing dogs.  No way 100 people click on that a week.  Out of those hundred people 88 of them are fishermen looking for bait tips (see what I did there - 88...Dale...nice).  How crazy is that to be on ESPN's homepage? This has to have been done because ESPN got blamed for not being multi-ethnic enough.  Now an executive can say "We love all sports - we even have cricket scores on our homepage!  Who can argue with that?"  Everyone you bastard.  Take it off and put a tab called "more NFL" - I guarantee is gets way more clicks than cricket.

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 3

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#24 TCU Horned Frogs @ Texas Tech Red Raiders (+3)

Thursday 7:30
ESPN

#17 UCLA Bruins (-4.5) @ #15 Nebraska Cornhuskers

12:00
ABC

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-7.5) @ #6 Texas A&M Aggies

3:30
CBS

Tennessee Volunteers @ #2 Oregon Ducks (-27.5)

3:30
ABC

#25 Mississippi Rebels @ Texas Longhorns (-2.5)

8:00
Longhorn Network

#18 Wisconsin Badgers @ Arizona State Sun Devils (-5.5)

10:30
ESPN

-If you haven't figured it out by now, my favorite college football team is Clemson and one of Clemson's greatest quarterbacks is a guy by the name of Charlie Whitehurst.  Not only was a pretty good QB (he used to own all of Clemson's passing records until Tajh Boyd showed up), but he played when I attended Clemson, therefore, I have a certain affection towards the guy (plus he was a high school friend with one of my roommates).  If you didn't know, Charlie was drafted by the Chargers in 2006 and has been Philip Rivers's backup for pretty much his entire career.  The other day, I saw him playing in a preseason game (which is the only time he ever plays) and I noticed that he looks like a retarded Barry Gibb.  Over the years, Charlie's hair has just gotten longer and longer and so I decided to put together a nice little collage for you guys of the Evolution of Charlie Whitehurst's Hair.  Enjoy:

-I wanted to comment on something I talked about last week.  That something was about ESPN and their obvious agendas when it comes to reporting sports.  Well, to re-enforce my point from last week, yesterday Yahoo! posted a story with strong evidence about five SEC players taking cash from a sports agent's middle man.  However, because this story was about ESPN's precious SEC, they have yet to say a word about it as of right now (5 hours after the story broke) but at the same time they don't seem to have a problem to continue to report about Oklahoma State's infractions.  Such bullshit, ESPN.

-Another week of college football, another winning week of picks for yours truly.  The funny thing is that my pick of South Carolina covering couldn't have made me happier.  Well, let's see if we can make three weeks in a row or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(If you can't read that, it says "Rudy Was Offsides".  Classic.  Also, I met the guy who Rudy sacked in real-life, he was my college roommate's (same guy from above) little league baseball coach.)

-Alright, enjoy the third week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-2
Season Results: 7-1-1

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - Part 7

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:

• Do you guys ever wonder how really large dinosaurs had sex?  I guess that's where the phrase "If the continent be a rockin', don't come a knockin'" came from.
• I feel like I should like Rory McIlroy because his name sounds so much like Tin Cup's main character Roy McAvoy, but I can't stand McIlroy.
• I still find it highly suspicious that the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl right after 9/11.  Seriously, there mascot is a Patriot, that seems really convenient.
• If the Big Bang never happened, would there be any sentient being there to notice?
• How exactly does spinach make Popeye super strong?  And if it works for him, why doesn't EVERYONE in that universe constantly use it?
• I find it hilarious that the next generation of kids will think that this symbol "#" will mean hashtag and not pound.
• Why does the NCAA refer to the play-in games as the 1st Round of March Madness when there are only 4 games being played?  They should just call it the Play-In Round and the next round as Round 1.
• I've always found the word "abbreviation" to be hilariously ironic.
• How many freaking X-Games are there?  I've seen at least 5 of them in the past month on ESPN which is 5 too many.
• If Wolverine's mutant power is that he can heal super fast, does that mean that he never has to eat or drink?  If he can just heal to stay alive then he shouldn't ever feel the effects of thirst or hunger.
• Why does the sports media always say that a good play or game is instantly the best ever when it probably was just okay?
• Does anybody actually like 3-D technology?
• If I ever accidentally go back in time, my first thought would be "Cool!" followed by "How do I get back?" then "Should I go back when I could use my knowledge of the future to become super rich?".

"Seriously, how does this work?  It makes no sense even for a cartoon."

Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More - Video Game Edition

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

• Hitman 2 - Did you know that the only reason Timothy Olyphant agreed to do the first Hitman movie was because Deadwood ended without warning right after he signed a new lucrative contract and he had to pay for the new house he just bought?  Well, they are making a sequel and this time Paul Walker of Fast and Furious fame will be playing the title character.
• Assassin's Creed - This is one of the few games on this list that I actually like and it is set to star Michael Fassbender (aka, the young Magneto from the X-Men prequels).  Who knows, they might actually make a decent movie, but I doubt it.
• Asteroids - Apparently, this one is set to come out next year some time.  Does anybody remember playing this game?  Of course not, it sucked unless you are super old and it blew your mind when you were young and I doubt you care about going to see a movie about this game.
• Gears of War - Unless John DiMaggio (voice of Marcus Fenix and Bender from Futurama) dubs the voice for the main character, I refuse to see this even though I loved these games.
• God of War - I never played this one because I never owned a Playstation, but I heard good things and a movie about a guy running around killing gods might be interesting if it wasn't called Clash of the Titans and that movie sucked balls.
• Mortal Kombat 3 - Do we really need another one of these?  I saw the original in the theaters (I was young and stupid, lay off) and it was stupid, so we know this one will be equally if not more stupid.
• Metal Gear Solid - Solid Snake killing people while running around under a cardboard box?  Why the hell not.
• Ratchet and Clank - They actually have a couple of people already lined up for this 2015 movie.  I've never played the game, but considering it is about a gun-wielding rabbit or something like that, there is no way this works out.
• RollerCoaster Tycoon - What?!?  I have no words to explain why this is being made.
• Spy Hunter - Remember this driving game?  The one where you can upgrade your car with machine guns, oil slicks, and missiles.  I'm not sure how you can make a decent movie premise based off of that, but someone is apparently attempting just that. 
• Warcraft - Does the world really need a Warcraft movie?  According to movie studios, the is answer is yes and it is set to come out in 2015.  You're welcome, nerds.

"I guess if you have some aliens in an Asteroids movie, it might work, but still....."

NOKW - Star Trek

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Star Trek (2009)

Basic Plot:  The reboot of the Star Trek franchise starts out with a young Jim Kirk working his way up to the captain of the Enterprise as well as introducing us to all of the other re-cast characters.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that when Kirk's dad flew his ship into the bad guy's ship at the beginning, the bad guys should have still been able to fire on the unarmed escape pods.  The fact that those escape pods probably floated through space for a really long time until someone rescued them and a lot of people should have died.  The fact that when young Kirk drove his step-dad's car off of a cliff, there is no way that he should have been able to stop his momentum before going over with the car.  The fact that every Star Fleet recruit would have been required to go to Kirk's hearing when he cheated on that test.  The fact that anybody survived that space jump onto the bad guys' space drill.  The fact that Spock thought shooting Kirk in a pod onto a ice-covered planet was logical.  The fact that Kirk flees into the one cave on that ice-covered planet where future Spock was hiding.  The fact that Nero and his minions seem to just disappear for 25 years without any explanation.  The fact that it took only Kirk and Spock to successfully infiltrate a Romulan mining ship, rescue the Enterprise's captain, and steal future Spock's ship.  The fact that Kirk knew that blowing up the red matter would create a black hole and they still parked the Enterprise way too close to the explosion only to miraculously escape.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that it is never explained how Nero knew exactly where and when future Spock would show up.  Sure, I can somewhat understand on them figuring out where Spock would show up because maybe it would be in the same place that he went into the black hole, but as to the when, I am really confused.  Did they just sit in that spot for 25 odd years?  Because that is insane.  I feel like you might be able to get over your grudge by then or at least think it through and figure out that maybe Spock isn't the one responsible.  Seriously, Nero was the captain of a mining ship, so how does that qualify him to work out some hardcore physics to figure out where Spock would show up.  And for that matter, what if he was wrong and Spock shows up millions of light years away?  What would he have done then?  What if Spock showed up 100 years later?  Nero and his crew would be dead and they would have been sitting in one spot for a really long time for nothing and his whole plan to make Spock suffer by blowing up Vulcan would have been down the toilet.  Nero was a madman and never should have been able to figure out Spock's location.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that banging a green alien is socially cool.  She must give really good head."

Saturday's Video of Sunday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Bubba Watson "practicing" for the 2013 PGA Tour Championships.

For some reason, it wouldn't load on our site, so just click the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k36olSNT4_E

Summary:  These are the things going on in this video:

• Pink Driver
• Has a ball shagger...for golf
• He is super drunk
• Updside down visor
• No shoes

That's a lot of crap going on.  This guy is a pro golfer - he won $4.6 million last year which included a win at The Masters!  He has won $1.6 million this year and is ranked #22 in the World Golf Rankings.  Maybe there is something to his practicing style.  Then again he did miss the cut at the PGA Championship and thought he was a bad-ass for hitting a 150 yard driver.  Practice at your own discretion!

Stupid State Laws - Tennessee 2

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Tennessee

"Driving is not to be done while asleep."

Chock this one up to common sense, Tennessee.  In what world would driving while asleep be a good thing?  The only place that I can think of that you could get away with it is if you are the airplane pilot of a super long flight, but even then, I'm sure that the passengers would be pretty pissed if they found out.  But seriously, what could have possibly have happened in order to make this a law?  Did someone get arrested because they passed out while driving but then went to court and said "Well, judge, there is no law against it" and they judge had to look it up and found out that the idiot was correct and was forced to make driving while asleep illegal.  I really think lawmakers should make a "Book of Common Sense Stuff That Shouldn't Be Made Into A Law Because You're An Idiot If You Think Otherwise" and this law should be on the first page along with no jerking off in public and no texting while driving.  Somebody make this book now!

"If you are going to sleep while you drive, at least fall asleep with your eyes on the road that way the cops will think you are awake.  Didn't we all learn that in high school while sleeping in class?"

2013 NFL Preview

Just like we did with college football, we here at Brainfart thought it should be our duty to give you guys our predictions for the upcoming NFL season.  Did I say predictions?  I meant, we are going to show you the future.  Let's do this:

	Sambo	Alex
AFC North	Cincinnati	Cincinnati
AFC East	New England	New England
AFC South	Houston	Houston
AFC West	Denver	Denver
Wildcard #1	Kansas City	Baltimore
Wildcard #2	Baltimore	Miami
NFC North	Green Bay	Chicago
NFC East	Dallas	New York
NFC South	Atlanta	Atlanta
NFC West	San Francisco	Seattle
Wildcard #1	Seattle	Tampa Bay
Wildcard #2	Tampa Bay	Green Bay
Super Bowl Winner	Green Bay	Denver
	Awards
MVP	Aaron Rodgers	Doug Martin
Def. POY	J.J. Watt	Aldon Smith
Off. ROY	DeAndre Hopkins	Giovani Bernard
Def. ROY	Jarvis Jones	Sharrif Floyd

"FOOOOOTBAWL!!!"

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 2

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by Sportsbook.ag

#9 Florida Gators @ #25 Miami Hurricanes (+3.5)

12:00
ESPN

#3 Oregon Ducks (-24) @ Virginia Cavaliers

3:30
ABC/ESPN2

#6 South Carolina Gamecocks (+3) @ #12 Georgia Bulldogs

4:30
ESPN

#16 Texas Longhorns (-7.5) @ Brigham Young Cougars

7:00
ESPN2

#13 Norte Dame Fighting Irish @ #17 Michigan Wolverines (-4.5)

8:00
ESPN

-Well, I was almost perfect last week which is pretty damn good for picking games in the first week of the season and if it weren't for a punt and/or kick return TD by Alabama, I might have finished with no losses, but I won't complain...much.

-There is one other thing I want to get off of my chest.  I'm getting really tired of ESPN's influence on the sports world as a whole.  They obviously have an agenda and because they are the most watched sports network in the world, they push that agenda on their viewers.  Let's take a look at those agendas shall we:

• NCAA - The SEC is the only conference in college football and if you don't pull for one of those teams, you are stupid.  On their website's front page on Saturday night, their top story was that LSU won and not that Clemson beat one of their precious Top 5 SEC teams.
• NFL - I'll be honest, this is the only sport that they cover that they don't seem to push one team on you, however, according to ESPN, Tim Tebow is the greatest player to ever live.  I'm so happy he got cut this week.
• MLB - Only the Yankees and Red Sox are worth your time.
• NBA - LeBron and the Lakers, that's it.
• Golf - If Tiger or Phil didn't win that weekend, golf takes a backseat to every other sport.  They even showed NFL preseason highlights before PGA Championship highlights this year.  And for god's sake, will they please stop hyping Rory McIlroy, that guy sucks.
• All other sports are stupid and scandals trump all.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(I couldn't find a picture of my favorite sign, it said "Lou Holtz for Prethident".  So funny.  The other one I found really funny was one that said "I'm Tied with Clowney in Sacks This Season".)

-Alright, enjoy the second week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 4-1-1
Season Results: 4-1-1

Bus Stop?

One of the most annoying things that will happen to you five times maximum in your life is being stuck behind a bus at a railroad with no one else on the road and they totally stop!  They may even open the doors!  Why are they doing that?

Don't get too mad at them - it is actually a law.  Transfer your hatred from the bus to politicians (shouldn't be hard).  All buses must stop at all railroad crossing, even if there is no one on board.  In some places the bus has to open the doors and put on its warning lights!  Then, the law says motorists should not proceed until the bus is completely cleared of the tracks.

What is the point of all this?  If a train was coming how would stopping beforehand and opening the doors do anything - if it comes when you are on the tracks you are on the tracks?  Just stop if there is already a train.  You cannot really get rid of the chance of a train coming out of nowhere - which they never do.  The only point I can see is because it is a .000001% more chance of a lot of people getting hurt.  But then why make buses do the whole dance when no one is on board?  Aren't they just a big car at that point?  I don't get the extra precaution.  If it is so dangerous then buses should do this at all intersections.  I am sure that the law was the product of an over-ambitious politician trying to make news after an absurdly rare bus accident.

One more point, do school buses really think it is safer to got 15 mph UNDER the speed limit on the highway?  If everyone is going 65 mph then going 50 mph is very dangerous.  Just go the speed limit, bus.

"This seems the much more likely outcome when a vehicle stops for no reason."

Best Movie Cameos

As I like to do on occasion, I decided to make another fun list.  Today's list will be composed of the Best Movie Cameos.  The parts I picked are more or less my favorite movie cameos and not necessarily the actual best cameos ever, but what are you going to do?  Also, I listed them from my least favorite to most favorite.  Let's do this:

• Steve Buscemi (Billy Madison) - If you don't remember Steve being in this movie, well, he played the really small part of being a guy that Billy Madison bullied in high school and Billy calls him towards the end of the movie to apologize for being a dick.  Then Steve puts on some lipstick and then later shoots the bad guy at the end to save Billy.  It was priceless.
• David Bowie (Zoolander) - I could have gone with any of the many cameos in this movie like Billy Zane, Fabio, or David Duchovny.  But I picked David Bowie because it was so random and the "Walk-Off" scene was so funny.
• Christopher Walken (Pulp Fiction) - Come on, the scene where he talks about having to stick a watch up his ass while a prisoner of war was great, how could I not pick this cameo?
• Tom Cruise (Tropic Thunder) - Cruise's role in this movie might not necessarily count as a cameo, but it was really funny when you figured out that the guy in the hairy fat suit yelling obscenities was Tom Cruise and that has to count for something.
• Bob Saget (Half Baked) - "I used to suck dick for coke!"  That's all that needs to be said. 
• Ryan Reynolds (Ted) - Okay, I saw this movie recently and it was what got me to write this post.  Ryan Reynolds is only in this movie for about 5 seconds and has no lines, but he was still hilarious and I had to put him on the list.
• Bob Barker (Happy Gilmore) - You all knew this one was coming.  I recently wrote about how Bob only did this movie because he found out that he got to kick Adam Sandler's ass and that whole scene was awesome just because of Dirty Ol' Bob.
• Matt Damon (Eurotrip) - I don't know if many people actually saw this movie and that makes Matt Damon's part that much more spectacular.  Just look at him down there, you know he had a blast playing the lead singer of a band who bangs high school girls.

"He's almost unrecognizable.  Love it."