Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Kanye West makes a video he thinks is the greatest thing since God.  Turns out it is the greatest thing since 5 minutes before you watched this.  It screams " Spoof Me."  So people did - even famous people.

Summary:  I like how it really is not even a spoof - just a shot for shot reenactment.  Anyone notice how Kanye has stopped even trying to sing?  It isn't even fast talking.  Just normal talking with music behind it.  He truly is the worst.

Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More - Part 9

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

• Beetlejuice 2 - At first, I was a little mad about this, but then I rewatched the original the other day and now I'm actually a little excited.  Michael Keaton was so good in that movie and more Beetlejuice can only lead to more awesome.
• Beverly Hills Cop 4 - Axel Foley is back 20 years after the third installment of this series.  Why?  Because Hollywood ran out of fresh ideas years ago.
• Triplets (Twins 2) - Guess who is playing the third person of the triplet?  Did you guess Eddie Murphy?  It appears that both Arnold and Eddie are really struggling for work right now.
• Army of Darkness 2 - Bruce Campbell reprising his role as the chainsaw wielding badass?  Why the hell not.
• Top Gun 2 - No.  No, no, no.  I would actually be okay with a remake, but a sequel?  There is no way this ends well.
• The Legend of Conan - 67 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger will be playing Conan again 30 years after he played the part originally.  This can only in tears.
• Poltergeist - I really don't know how you remake this movie, but Sam Rockwell will be playing the part of Craig T. Nelson and I do love me Sam Rockwell, so it has that going for it.
• The Toxic Avenger - A dude falls into a vat of toxic waste and fights crime with his trusty mop.  That was the plot of the original and they are remaking it.  What?!?
• Batman Reboot - Yup, they are already rebooting this thing and it is set to come out in 2015, the same year as the Batman v. Superman movie.  The only good news is that the guy who wrote The Dark Knight Trilogy is going to write this thing.

"30 years later, a new Conan movie might involve a lot more shirts covering Arnold's body."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Rivalry Week

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#24 Duke Blue Devils @ North Carolina Tarheels (-6.5)

12:00
ESPN2

#3 Ohio State Buckeyes @ Michigan Wolverines (+14.5)

12:00
ABC

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-10.5) @ #4 Auburn Tigers

Iron Bowl
3:30
CBS

Georgia Bulldogs (-3.5) @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate
3:30
ABC

#21 Texas A&M Aggies @ #5 Missouri Tigers (-4.5)

7:45
ESPN

#22 UCLA Bruins @ #23 USC Trojans (-4)

8:00
ABC

-What do coaches do with all of their free clothing and other college stuff they got while coaching when they get fired?  Think about how many different shirts, pants, hats, etc a coach gets when he is hired and accumulates over his tenure as a coach of a team.  Now, what does he do with all that stuff when he is canned?  Does he keep it?  Does he burn it?  Or do a bunch of local homeless people suddenly start wearing a bunch of new college-themed clothing?  I really want to know.

-Does ESPN understand the concept of an "upset"?  On their college football scoreboard, they have a bar at the top of the page that shows any games that fall under the category of an "Upset Alert".  However, they kept showing the Missouri v. Ole Miss score as an upset.  Missouri was winning that game and not only were the Tigers the higher ranked team, but they were also favored.  How in the hell is that considered an "Upset Alert"?  It's not, once again proving ESPN is stupid.

-You might notice that I am not picking the Clemson/SC game.  Call me superstitious, but I refuse to jinx Clemson in any way, so I will not be picking that one.

-Well, I had an inverse week from the previous week.  I started out 2-0 and finished 0-3 (opposed to starting 0-4 and finishing 2-0).  This is just not my season.  I guess I'm just not following the game like I did in the past.  Or I'm just getting really unlucky.  I did have that stretch where I lost more picks because of backdoor covers than I did in all the other seasons I've been doing this combined.  Whatever.  I guarantee a winning week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(I was at the Clemson game and didn't see GameDay this week, so this was the best I could find on the internet.)

-Alright, enjoy the fourteenth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 2-3
Season Results: 33-39-3

"A buddy of mine (thanks, Ned) sent me this pick and I had to share it with you guys."

Ad Life

You know the best indicator you are getting old or taking another step in your life?  The ads on the webpages you are on start changing.  I am about to have a kid and it is highly disconcerting that the ESPN college football homepage has stroller ads all over it.  It's embarrassing but true.  You try to do manly things like check scores, make some bets online, or update Pintrest, and then BOOM!  Nipple cream ads in your face!  The worst part?  I clicked on the new baby diaper ads because that is what interests me.  So when you get ads that make you realize your life is changing, just embrace it and go ahead and get the 20% discount along with it.

"Well, I have always been for women to take their tops off in public."

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - Part 10

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:

• Dear Chris Berman, when was the last time that your "2-Minute Drill" segment was actually two minutes and not five minutes of utter nonsense?
• Is it just me or are the new cell phone features that I keep seeing advertised super pointless?  A cell phone camera that can zoom?  Who the hell cares, it's a phone, not a camera.
• Reason No. 234 That I Know I'm Getting Old - the last time I got a haircut, my barber trimmed my eyebrows.
• Do you know where the "Teddy" of a Teddy Bear comes from?  It's named after Teddy Roosevelt because he refused to kill a helpless bear cub on a hunting trip and someone started making kids' bears named after him.
• How awkward do you think it is for someone making a WWII movie to go to a store and buy Nazi flags?
• Advertisements before YouTube videos drive me crazy.
• How can people hear Iron Man from more than a couple of feet away?  Does he have speakers on his suit somewhere?
• Why is it so hard to just buy normal Band-Aids anymore?  They offer way too many different varieties that normal ones don't seem to exist.
• I find it crazy that the New York Yankees have 8 more World Series wins (27) than any other team even has appearances (two tied with 19).
• Did Darth Vader kill the Emperor because of Luke?  Or was it because he was jealous that he was about to be replaced?
• I feel like we are only a couple of years away from seeing Christmas commercials right after Easter.  They do seem to get earlier and earlier each year, don't they?
• Why don't all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles carry swords?  Wouldn't that make more sense than one of them using those worthless sais?
• Speaking of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, did you know that Corey Feldman was the voice of Donatello in the first and third movies?

"Makes me glad that Michelangelo was my favorite Turtle."

Random Movie Trivia - Caddyshack

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Caddyshack

• The noises that the gopher makes come from a dolphin.  In fact, it is the same dolphin that was in the movie Flipper.
• After shooting each day, most of the cast and crew would go out partying.  Eventually, they partied so hard that by the end of production filming was delayed longer and longer each day.
• Caddyshack is only said once throughout the whole movie by caddy manager, Lou (played by Bill Murray's brother, Brian Doyle-Murray).
• Bill Murray improvised the "Cinderella story" sequence from two lines of stage direction. Director Harold Ramis simply asked Murray to emulate a kid announcing his own fantasy sports moment. Murray simply asked for four rows of 'mums and did the scene in one take.
• One of Bill Murray's kids goes to Clemson.  This has nothing to do with this movie, just thought I would throw it in there because Clemson rules!
• Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and Rodney Dangerfield's roles were all supposed to be just cameos but because of their improvisational skills, they got a lot more screen time which didn't sit well with Ted Knight (Judge Smails).  Knight is considered a nice man, but he got fed up with their constant shenanigans.  Sadly, this was Ted Knight's last movie.
• The gopher scenes were written and shot after most of the movie was already finished.  Director Harold Ramis wanted a live gopher for the scenes, but obviously that didn't work and they used an animatronic gopher in the end.
• The movie was filmed in Fort Lauderdale but set in Nebraska.  They had many delays during filming because a hurricane hit the area and because of an earthworm infestation.
• The second story of the clubhouse was fake and built only for the film.  It was an empty husk and later torn down.
• The scene where Chevy Chase hits a golf ball into Bill Murray's shack was written only because the two stars did not share a scene together in the movie.  The scene has nothing to do with the plot but is still considered one of the funniest scenes in the movie.
• This is the only movie that Bill Murray and Chevy Chase were in after their infamous feud during their Saturday Night Live days.  Some people expected another confrontation, but both were extremely professional even during their one scene together.
• Bill Murray filmed all of his scenes in six days.
• Cindy Morgan (Lacey Underall) was really nervous about her lovemaking scene, so Michael O"Keefe (Noonan) got the crew to all take their shirts off whiling filming to make her feel more comfortable.
• A big hill was created from scratch for the final scene because the golf course didn't want their course blown up (obviously).  Unfortunately, they used too many explosives and planes flying by the area reported that they saw an explosion and thought another plane had crashed.

"I honestly think this movie would have sucked without Bill Murray's character not being a prominent part of the movie."

Stupid State Laws - Washington 3

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Auburn, Washington

"Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail."

While I commend Washington for closing any loopholes with that "regardless of age or marital status" part, there is still one big problem with this law - how does Washington repopulate their state if no one is allowed to get their hump on?  Lawmakers do realize that in order to have children someone is going to have to start deflowering some women?  I guess the only way that Washington gets any new citizens is by importing slutty women into their state.  And does this mean that you are guaranteed to have a deflowered bride on your wedding day?  Also, five years?  That seems a little excessive for banging a young hottie.  Washington, you guys might have dropped the ball on this law.  Big time.

"And if the virgin looks like this, there is no cop in the world that would arrest you.  Instead, I'm pretty sure they would give you a high five.....or kill you if it's their daughter."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  South Park is in the middle of a Game of Thrones parody and this little gem might be the highlight of said parody.

Summary:  Yes, that is a song about floppy wieners set to the opening credits theme song of Game of Thrones.  And yes, that is an animated George R.R. Martin (author of Game of Thrones) playing the conductor.  Just when I thought it would be impossible to top the Imaginationland trilogy, South Park goes and outdoes themselves.

Non-Rise of the ACC

Earlier this college football season, the ACC looked to be gaining back some of its past glory.  Florida State, Clemson, and Miami were all in the Top 10 nationally.  6-0 and #3 Clemson was set to host 5-0 #5 FSU in what was billed as the biggest game in ACC history and a possible repeat of that huge game could happen two weeks after that when undefeated Miami played at undefeated FSU.  Then it all blew up.  Clemson got railroaded and within three hours they went from national championship to a fraud - which is crazy because that could be the only game they lose and they will probably go to a BCS game.  Then FSU beat Miami and everyone considered UM a fraud (which I think they are).  Now the ACC has its national championship contender which is different than other years.  But even they have issues with a pending sexual assault case against their best team's QB.  After FSU, Clemson is a small step down and then it is a giant cliff down to the next team which is....wait for it.... Duke!  In football!  What the hell is happening?!?  The last straw in the continued slide for the ACC happened this week.  The potential Coastal Division champion, Duke, is only favored by 5 in some sportsbooks over Wake Forest.  How is that possible?  Who doesn't beat Wake by 5!?!?!  I hope the ACC gets better shortly but I am not holding my breath.

"Check out that huge fan base in the background."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 13

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#12 Texas A&M Aggies @ #22 LSU Tigers (-4.5)

3:30
CBS

#19 Wisconsin Badgers @ #25 Minnesota Gophers (+16)

3:30
ESPN

#17 Arizona State Sun Devils @ #14 UCLA Bruins (+2.5)

7:00
FOX

#8 Missouri Tigers @ #24 Mississippi Rebels (+2.5)

7:45
ESPN

#4 Baylor Bears (-9.5) @ #10 Oklahoma State Cowboys

8:00
ABC

-What is College GameDay going to do when Lee Corso leaves?  If you haven't noticed, Lee hasn't been as sharp as he used to be and that is because he suffered a stroke in 2009.  He is currently signed on to do the show through next season and then plans to retire, so my question is - what is GameDay going to do when he leaves?  His headgear predictions are a priceless staple of the show and is something you can't exactly replicate.  So, when he leaves, who is going to replace him at the desk on Saturdays?  Are they going to move Desmond Howard over to his spot?  Or are they going to promote David Pollack to the job?  In all honesty, I don't think it matters what they do because Corso is impossible to replace and he will be missed.  As long as they don't give the spot to Lou Holtz, I don't care what they do.  Lou is impossible to understand and we really don't need three hours of his lisp.

-I love college football and after a big win by my Clemson Tigers, I love waking up the next morning to watch highlights of that big win.  However, since ESPN is the king of sports and is obsessed with the NFL, college highlights are pushed to the side on Sunday mornings for hours and hours of NFL pre-game coverage.  Seriously, ESPN's lack of college football recap on Sundays is annoying.  Sure, I could change the channel to ESPNU, but does anybody even get that channel?  For some reason, I get it but it doesn't work on my cable box.  Plus, how many hours of NFL pre-game do we really need?  The answer is not as many hours as ESPN commits each Sunday morning.  Those jerks.

-A nice 5-1 week and my only loss was in a game I had no business picking because I don't care about the Big 10 (who will soon have 14 teams).  Well, I'm so happy with last week that I will just skip to the part where I say, I guarantee a winning week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(Yup, it just says "Sports".  I saw another one that said "Sotally Tober, Mom" that made me laugh but I couldn't find a picture of it.)

-Alright, enjoy the thirteenth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 5-1
Season Results: 31-36-3

Who Is This? Part 4

Just kidding, however, the guy below is actually the same person:

Alright, who is this?  Actually, this one is kind of easy.  That's Jackie Earle Haley.  He played Rorschach in Watchmen and he was even Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, but would you recognize him from his most famous role?

Yup, he played Kelly Leake in the original Bad News Bears.  Rorschach was Kelly Leake!  Pretty crazy right?  After his role in the Bad New Bears movies, he really didn't do much for 30 years and then he was nominated for an Oscar for some movie I've never heard of in 2006.  Since then he has been in a ton of stuff like Lincoln, Watchmen, and Semi-Pro.  He will also be in the Robocop remake....which will probably suck.

Really, SNL? Part 2

Saturday Night Live thought that their audience likes Lady Gaga so much that she should be allowed to host their show.  I don't know where they got that idea and whoever came up with it should be fired.  Anyone who goes around calling themselves Lady Gaga (her real name is Stefani Germanotta, where in the hell did Gaga come from) should never be allowed to host anything.  However, after watching this past weekend's episode, Stefani wasn't that bad.  She wasn't good, but she wasn't as bad as I thought she would be.  Since I thought her hosting SNL was a terrible idea, I decided to make a list of people who should have hosted instead.  I did this back in February when that twerp Justin Bieber hosted and I will be listing a couple of the same names again because they still haven't hosted.  Let's see what I came up with:

• Nathan Fillion - How has Nathan not hosted yet?  He lives right there in New York and would be a perfect host.  He's funny, charming, and reminds me a lot of Jon Hamm and we all know how funny Jon is when he hosts.
• Johnny Depp - I don't want to see him on the show because I like him as actor, I just want to see him host because of how weird that episode might turn out.
• Mel Brooks - Sure, he may almost be 90 years old, but Mel Brooks is still one of the funniest people living and if he hosted SNL, I can guarantee it will be one of the funniest shows they ever had.
• Melissa McCarthy - I know she hosted not that long ago, but she was so funny during her show that she should be allowed to host once a year.  The sketch were she chugged Ranch dressing was priceless.
• Weird Al Yankovic - I don't care that he has been irrelevant for awhile now, he would be awesome on SNL.  Just imagine the Digital Short that they could make with Weird Al, it would be incredible.  Plus, he makes a better Lady Gaga than Lady Gaga does.

"Saturday night (live) was the first time I have ever actually looked at Lady Gaga and frankly, she is one ugly Lady.  Get it?"

NOKW - Toy Story

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Toy Story

Basic Plot:  A magical world where toys are alive and get into trouble when their owner isn't around.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that a toy would get jealous about another toy when not being thrown in the garbage should be their goal at all times.  The fact that the Mr. Potato Head still had any of his parts left, those things are so easy to lose.  The fact that the slinky dog toy was still functional, a slinky is hard to keep in working condition as an adult, a kid's slinky should be a wreck.  The fact that it would be really creepy if your childhood toys were real and froze every time you walked in the room.  The fact that Andy never noticed that his toys always seemed to be in a different spot than where he left them.  The fact that those Army toys could be so effective considering their feet were molded together.  The fact that the neighbor kid's parents would buy him any toys if all he ever did was destroy them.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Buzz Lightyear doesn't think he is a toy but then still freezes every time Andy walks in the room.  If you are a monster and haven't seen this movie, then all you need to know is that Buzz Lightyear is the new toy that Andy (the kid who owns all of the toys, duh) gets for his birthday and Buzz seems to think that he is the real Buzz Lightyear and not a toy.  Also, anytime that Andy shows up, all of the toys freeze as if they are toys and not sentient beings.  However, Buzz believes that he is the real Buzz Lightyear and yet, when Andy walks in the room, he freezes just like all of the other toys.  If he thought he was real, wouldn't he not care if a kid saw him flying around?  No.  He would think that he is an astronaut (or whatever he is) and try and shoot him with his fake laser.  I am not okay with that.

"These guys were awesome.  That's all I've got."

Stupid State Laws - Washington 2

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Washington

"It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich."

This law is just laughably stupid.  I think I know why this is a law (to prevent scams, I guess), but what about all of those stupid high school kids who lie about their parent's net worth to impress other stupid high school kids?  I would love to see a cop bust up into a high school and arrest a kid for lying about his "rich" parents.  The funny thing is that by getting arrested that kid might actually become even cooler even if his parents are Kenny McCormick poor.  And even if this law was invented to stop scammers, it still doesn't really solve anything because those same con men will just come up with another scheme to rob stupid people out of their money.  Way to go, Washington, you created a law that doesn't punish anyone who actually deserves it.

"His story doesn't check out.  Book him, rookie."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Man pitches the next multi-million dollar idea.

Summary:  This is pure genius.  My favorite part is that he uses the latest and greatest technology - CDs!!!  I would pay a significant amount of money to see him pitch this for Shark Tank.

Movie Media Coverage

Every time I watch a movie that involves superheros, alien attacks, or some sort of supernatural event, I always wonder what the media coverage would be like the day after those events.  Look at this way, for a straight week after the Boston Marathon Bombing, we got non-stop coverage of the bombing and only a couple of people were killed in the attack.  My heart goes out to those people's families and I'm not trying to downplay that event, I'm just trying to say that the media went crazy over that attack.  Now, just imagine that coverage but instead of a bomb during a marathon, imagine that it was 30-foot tall alien robots getting in a fight in a populated area.  It would be insane.  Let's look at a couple of movies were would be watching the media showing the same clips and images over and over for months:

• Transformers - Like I said above, just imagine the coverage we would have to endure if 30-foot alien robots fought it out in a large city.
• The Avengers - At the end of the movie, they show some of the TV coverage after the attack in New York, but what I really want to see is the stories about the clean-up.  First off, there would be billions in damage, but more importantly, how in the hell is anyone going to remove those giant flying alien corpses?  Is there any conceivable technology that can move something that size?  I really want to know.
• Man of Steel - If there was a lot of damage in The Avengers, just imagine the cost of the destruction of Metropolis in this movie.  Not to mention the fact that there are aliens out there that are indestructible and can fucking fly.  I would love to see the debate on numerous shows about the physics of Superman's flying ability.
• X-Men 3 - A group of mutants were able to uproot the Golden Gate Bridge and make it fly across the San Francisco Bay.  How do you even go about fixing something like that?  Do you blow it up and start over?  Do you just leave it?  It would be fascinating to watch the coverage of that.
• Spider-Man - While the fights in the sequels were cooler, just imagine the media foaming at the mouth the first time Spider-Man and the Green Goblin go at it during that parade.  They kind of show some of the coverage through The Daily Bugle, but that only scratches the surface.
• The Dark Knight Rises - Gotham was taken over by terrorists with a nuke for five months.  During that five month stretch, we would never hear the end of it from CNN and the other news channels.  You wouldn't be able to turn on the TV without seeing live shots of Gotham and after about a week, I would want to punch somebody and would pay anything if they would just talk about something else.

"If Superman actually existed, TMZ would jizz their pants every second of every day covering this guy."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 12

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets @ #8 Clemson Tigers (-10.5)

Thurs 7:30
ESPN

#25 Georgia Bulldogs @ #7 Auburn Tigers (-3.5)

3:30
CBS

#12 Oklahoma State Cowboys (-3) @ #24 Texas Longhorns

3:30
FOX

#23 Miami Hurricanes @ Duke Blue Devils (+3)

3:30
ESPNU

#16 Michigan State Spartans @ Nebraska Cornhuskers (+6)

3:30
ABC/ESPN2

#4 Stanford Cardinal @ USC Trojans (+4)

8:00
ABC

-How is Auburn ahead of Clemson in the BCS Standings?  If the Coaches' Poll, Harris Poll, and Computer Rankings each count for a third of the formula, then it should be mathematically impossible for Auburn to be ahead of Clemson in the BCS Standings.  Clemson is ranked 6th in the Coaches, 7th in the Harris, and 9th in the computer poll, and Auburn is 9th, 9th, and 7th.  That would average 7.33 for Clemson and 8.33 for Auburn and yet Auburn is ahead of Clemson.  Please tell me how that makes sense.  I have nothing against Auburn and in fact, every Auburn fan I have ever met are the most non-SEC fan you will ever meet (meaning they aren't dicks), but I still don't understand how they are ahead of Clemson in the BCS Standings.  Not that it affects Clemson in anyway, I just want an explanation.  And if this explanation involves more math more complicated than what I did, then forget it, I don't care anymore.

-Do you know why Waffle House's colors are yellow and black?  It's because the founder went to Georgia Tech.  And do you know why Hooter's colors are orange and white?  It's because one of its co-founders went to Clemson.  I thought those little tidbits were appropriate because those two teams are playing each other this week.  Knowledge is Power!

-Considering I started the weekend 0-4, I guess I'm pretty happy that I finished with a 2-4 record this week.  Sure, I didn't have a winning week, but that's what I get when I pick a game involving the schizophrenic Logan Thomas.  You really have no idea what the hell he's going to do from week-to-week.  Also, I'm still not sure why I picked Oregon to cover on the road in Stanford.  Oh well, I'll get back on track this week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(This sign was sent to me by a buddy of mine and it wasn't at the GameDay in Tuscaloosa, but at the GameDay set up at Stanford on Thursday night and it really made me chuckle.  I did see a sign at the real GameDay that said "We Want Jacksonville" that I found funny because Alabama actually thinks they could beat an NFL team which would never happen.  They do realize that everyone on Jacksonville's roster was drafted and is a grown-ass man and Alabama has a roster full of guys that might be drafted and half of which are still teenagers?  In fact, I read an article that the Jaguars would be favored by 17 over Alabama and Jacksonville sucks really bad at football.)

(Back in Week 2, I told you guys my favorite sign from the first GameDay at Clemson said "Lou Holtz for Prethident" but couldn't find a picture of it.  Well, I finally found a picture of it......at this past weekend's GameDay in Tuscaloosa.  Way to be original, Bama fans.)

-Alright, enjoy the twelfth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 2-4
Season Results: 26-35-3

Not So Mary-land

Maryland football has been disappointing as of late.  It has been a while since they were relevant.  In 2010 after high preseason optimism, Maryland went 9-4 with a bowl win but felt they could do better so they fired their head coach.  Enter Randy Edsall.  His first year he started off 2-2 before losing ALL THE REST OF THEIR GAMES!!!  That 2-10 season they let everyone they played score at least 21 points.  His players also hated him so much that he had 24 of them transfer out of Maryland.  Yikes.  In 2012 they started out a decent 4-2 before losing ALL THE REST OF THEIR GAMES!!!  I'm seeing a pattern emerge.  This year the Terps started off 4-0 fooling everyone into thinking they might be good by playing four terrible teams.  Then they got destroyed by FSU 63-0!  Ouch.  After that they beat Virginia and then have lost ALL THE REST OF THEIR GAMES!!!  That's right, so far in his Maryland career Randy Edsall has never won a game later than October 13th.  He is 0-16 after that date.  Have fun with your new whipping boy, BIG 10.

"This really is a picture of Edsall.  What a douche!"

One-Hit Movie Wonders - Part 2

I made a list a few months ago about actors who everyone seems to know, but in all honesty have only made one good movie in their career and shouldn't be as famous as they are.  Well, I came up with a few more actors who fit this bill.  Let's do this:

• Megan Fox, Transformers - While Megan has only one role that everyone knows her for, she has a chance to redeem herself because she will playing the iconic April O'Neil in the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.  However, she was so bad in Jonah Hex, I don't know if she is redeemable.
• Anthony Hopkins, The Silence of the Lambs - Considering how incredible his character was in this movie and considering he won an Oscar for this part despite only being onscreen for 12 minutes, it's shocking that he has done a whole lot of nothing since this movie.  I honestly can't name one good movie he has done since Silence of the Lambs.  Nothing.
• Alicia Silverstone, Clueless - Name something else she has done, I dare you.  If you said Batman & Robin, then you proved my point for me.  So, thanks.
• Christopher Lloyd, Back to the Future - While Doc has done some things I have enjoyed over the years (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), he hasn't really starred in anything in 15 years.
• Jennifer Grey, Dirty Dancing - Some people might say "What about Ferris Bueller or Red Dawn?"  My point exactly, she played small parts in both and since Dirty Dancing, she hasn't been heard from again.
• Mark Hamill, Star Wars - This one is sad, but true.  He does do a lot of voice work (The Joker in any animated Batman stuff), but other than Luke Skywalker, he never could get any other acting work unlike Han Solo.

"She might not be able to act, but at least she is hot."

Random Movie Trivia - Bill & Ted

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

• In the original script, the time machine was a 1969 Chevy van, but they thought that would be a blatant rip-off of Back to the Future, so they changed it to a phone booth even though that is exactly what Doctor Who uses for his time machine.  Also, if they had used the van, Bill and Ted would have picked up more historical figures.
• During auditions, Alex Winter tried out for the role of Ted and Keanu Reeves tried out for Bill.
• The idea for the movie came from a stand-up act where Bill and Ted would discuss current events without knowing what they were actually talking about.  There was also a third character named Bob, but the comedian who played him lost interest after only a couple of shows.
• When Napoleon finishes his "waterslide" presentation at the end of the movie, Ted looks up and says, "I don't think it's gonna work." If you look closely at the maps, you can see that Napoleon is actually diagramming the French invasion of Russia, Napoleon's most disastrous defeat.
• In an early draft of the script, Rufus was a 28 year old sophomore who befriended Bill and Ted.
• Pauly Shore auditioned for the part of Ted.
• There was a third Bill & Ted movie in the works, but Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves declined.  So, that script was altered and became Bio-Dome.  How?  I have no idea.  The good news is that there is a renewed interest in a third movie and a script has been written, but it's having troubles getting off of the ground.

"I still find it amazing that Keanu Reeves had a career after this movie."

Stupid State Laws - Washington

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Washington

"It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag."

Hippies.  Dirty stinking hippies.  That's the only explanation I can think of that justifies this law.  Some filthy stoned hippies thought it would be groovy to paint polka dots on an American flag and the state of Washington would have none of that.  Can you think of a better reason?  No.  You can't.  However, why would anyone care if there are polka dots on an American flag?  It's not like it's hurting anybody.  It's not like they were painting them and then burning the flag.  Frankly, I understand that stopping stupid hippies from having fun is a necessity in this country, but this law seems a little unnecessarily stupid.  Whatever, hippies suck and this law can stay.

"Is that a picture of polka dots on an American flag?  The answer is - who cares."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  This is a skit from the new Pete Holmes Show making fun of the X-Men.

Summary:  I loved Professor X's retractable claws.  In fact, I loved everything about his video and would highly suggest checking out Pete Holmes' show.  Very good stuff.

All-Time Gross v. All-Time Adjusted Gross

I came across a list of the All-Time Adjusted Gross Domestic Movies that take a movie's box office results and factor in inflation.  So, I thought I would compare that list to the current All-Time Domestic Movie list to see how different the two would look.  Let's look at the lists first and then I will throw a couple of comments at you guys (dollar figures are in millions):

All-Time Domestic

Avatar (2009) - $761
Titanic (1997) - $659
The Avengers (2012) - $623
The Dark Knight (2008) - $535
Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace (1999) - $475
Star Wars (1977) - $461
The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - $448
Shrek 2 (2004) - $441
E.T. (1982) - $435
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) - $423

Adjusted All-Time Domestic

Gone with the Wind (1939) - $1,649
Star Wars (1977) - $1,453
The Sound of Music (1965) - $1,162
E.T. (1982) - $1,158
Titanic (1997) - $1,105
The Ten Commandments (1956) - $1,069
Jaws (1975) - $1,045
Doctor Zhivago (1965) - $1,013
The Exorcist (1973) - $902
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) - $889

Comments:
-Gone with the Wind being on the adjusted list makes sense, but The Sound of Music seems a little off.  Was that movie that good?  Maybe it's just that only a couple movies came out each year and any movie about humiliating Nazis was a must-see at the time.
-Only three movies are on both and thankfully, Avatar wasn't one of them.  That movie was awesome the first time you saw it, but it is pretty unwatchable after that, it's sooooo damn long.
-The Phantom Menace?  Really?  I'm glad that that movie sucked so hard that none of the following sequels made the list.
-I refuse to refer to The Avengers by its full title.  Nor E.T.
-I still think the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie was by far the best of the series, too bad the first sequel is the only one on this list.
-I'm kind of shocked that The Exorcist made the adjusted list.  That doesn't seem like the kind of movie that enough people would have seen in the theaters to make that much adjusted.
-I've never seen Doctor Zhivago, but my buddy's dad told me in a random conversation I had with him last year that it still holds up after all of these years, so I'm cool with it being here.
-Did you know that when Walt Disney made Snow White, it almost bankrupted the company and Disney's wife told her husband that no one would ever go see a movie about dwarves.  Whoops.
-I'm really disappointed that a Shrek movie made the list.  I guess that proves that parents will take their kids to anything if it will shut them up for a couple of hours.

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 11

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#10 Oklahoma Sooners (+14.5) @ #6 Baylor Bears

Thurs 7:30
Fox Sports 1

#3 Oregon Ducks (-10) @ #5 Stanford Cardinal

Thurs 9:00
ESPN

Nebraska Cornhuskers @ Michigan Wolverines (-7)

3:30
ABC

Virginia Tech Hokies @ #11 Miami Hurricanes (-6.5)

7:00
ESPN

#13 LSU Tigers @ #1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-12.5)

8:00
CBS

#19 UCLA Bruins (-1.5) @ Arizona Wildcats

10:00
ESPN

-What would happen if a freshmen or sophomore college football player decided to transfer because of a program/major he wanted to study at another school and not because football?  Sure, he would still play football, but he's not changing schools because of football, he's doing it to further his education.  Would the NCAA still make him sit out a year?  I know that if a player has already graduated there is a loophole in the rules that allows you to pull this off, but what about younger players?  What about kids who choose a school, got there, and found out that they are not offering the education he was looking for?  Would the NCAA still punish them?  The is answer is probably yes, but that's because the NCAA is stupid and couldn't govern a kindergarten class with a handful of candy.

-Why does the University of Colorado use this symbol?

Daniel Tosh brought this up on his show a couple of weeks ago and I thought he made a valid point.  It is the University of Colorado and yet they use a logo and chant "CU" for their football team.  Who is the genius who came up with that?  I just felt like this should be brought to everyone's attention so that ridicule may ensue.

-Finally, I'm back on the winning side!  The funniest part is that while watching the Mich v. Mich St game, I was pulling for Mich St and was pretty happy when they covered.  But when I went to mark a "W" on my pick sheet, I found out that I had picked Michigan.  Oh well, I still had a winning week and I feel sane again.  So, this week I guarantee a winning week (again) or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(My favorite sign said "Snape Killed Dumbledore", but I couldn't find a picture of it.)

-Alright, enjoy the eleventh week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-2
Season Results: 24-31-3

ESPN's Gambling Denial

Americans love gambling, especially gambling on football.  I would hazard to guess that betting on the NFL is more popular than betting on NCAA football, but the difference cannot be that much.  That being said, why don't big sports websites also highlight the lines when they have to know what a big part of the sport gambling is?

On ESPN's front page there is very rarely anything about the betting lines.  Even deeper into the site there is not much to be found for anything other than football.  When you go to the NFL and NCAA football pages the only link to the odds page is on the top menu bar.  They definitely need to make this more prevalent.  If it was more in the open I bet (see what I did there) it would be one of the more heavily clicked items on those pages.

The other odd thing is that for NFL football it is the 9th item in the menu bar versus 11th on the college football page.  Also, if you scroll over the NFL page you can get to the odds page in one click whereas with NCAA football you have to go to the front page first then find the tiny word 'odds' to get the lines.  Is this done out of some sort of homage for the holy notion of amateur athletes?  Are we supposed to feel bad about betting on college football, but not quite as bad as betting on the NFL?  Get it together ESPN, you say you are an entertainment network so give the people what we want.  What we want is gambling!

"I asked these girls how they would feel about ESPN adding more gambling information - just look at their reactions!"

Making Golf More Interesting

I love to play golf.  I play as much as I can.  I may not be the best golfer in the world and I may finish the round and be more stressed than when I began, but I still love to play.  But when it comes to watching golf, I only seem to watch the major tournaments (plus that one with the island green).  The PGA tries to spice things up during the year with the rare match-play tournament, but those get super boring because there is only one pair of golfers playing on the last day and way too many commercials.  However, there is one tournament they play every other year that I find the most enjoyable to watch (outside of The Masters) and that event is The Ryder Cup.  It has everything.  Two teams competing against each other.  Different styles of play (four-ball, best ball, alternate shot, individual pairs).  Drama.  And patriotism.  I think the PGA would benefit greatly by hosting more Ryder Cup-like tournaments each year.  The biggest question would be - who would play on the teams in these events?  A couple of suggestions:

• Veterans v. Youngsters
• Players from one college v. Players from another college
• Appoint the top two world ranked players as captains and they draft teams
• Put names in a hat and draw them out to make teams
• Snobs v. Rednecks

Who cares what the teams are, they just need to stage more of these team tournaments.  I'm telling you, this would make more people watch.  Sure, watching Tiger or Phil playing at their best during a major tournament is fun, but why is football king?  Other than the violence, it's the team aspect of the game.  You get to pull for a group of players and not just one rich dude.  The Ryder Cup is one of the rare golf events that I get totally emerged in and the PGA really needs to bring us more of these.

"Plus you can do this every time you win.  Looks like fun, right?"

NOKW - The Hunger Games

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Hunger Games

Basic Plot:  It's the future and humans are forced by an evil emperor to make two kids from their districts fight to the death to prove something or other that makes little sense.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that this movie was so forgettable that I can't remember anything about it, so we are just going to skip this part.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that no one in the Capital seems to have a problem with forcing children to murder each other for their amusement.  Now, I understand why the Hunger Games were created, the government wanted to punish the population for trying to rebel, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to be okay with the idea.  You would think that at the 'Thinking of a Punishment' meeting, someone would have raised their hand and said "This is a decent idea, but kids?  Why not 20-year old guys?  That doesn't seem as fucked up as forcing children to murder other children.  Seriously, does anyone else in this room really want to watch a 16 year old boy stab a 12 year old girl in the chest with a spear?  Put your hand down, Roger, you're a dick."  I know this is fiction, but still, that is an entire universe of people who find it socially acceptable to watch a contest of kids who fight to the death and no one other than the districts where these kids come from care.  I am not okay with that.

"Damn it, Roger, what did I say!"

Stupid State Laws - Virginia

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Virginia

"There is a state law prohibiting 'corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates."

At first, this law kind of made sense to me, but then I got to thinking about it and it become really stupid.  So, Virginia got rid of the practice of bribery, that's a good thing, but they left a huge loophole in their law for no reason that I can think of.  Basically, this law makes it illegal for people to bribe a candidate, but it is perfectly okay for a candidate to buy as many votes as he wants?  Meaning that if you are really rich, you can just buy your way into office?  That doesn't seem fair.  Then again, I guess that's how elections work today anyways, so this law is kind of moot.  You got lucky this time, Virginia.

"Here's my bribe, so vote for me."
"One Dollar!!!  That's it!!  Well, I guess so."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  A college freshman has so much school spirit she makes a music video about it!

Summary:  NAILED IT!  This girl has more school spirit than any of you.  She is so psyched she made song about it...but that wasn't good enough - she added a rap on the end that is too epic to believe.  GO COCKS!!!

Kicker Problem

Fantasy football is fun.  Really really fun.  It allows you to not only follow your team, but have an investment in almost every NFL game all season.  With fantasy football the Monday night Jaguars v. Bills game suddenly becomes watchable without having to bet a sizable amount of money on it.  Fantasy football also starts getting very competitive, with many hours going into draft preparations and at least several hours a week each week during the season researching players to add and cut.  With all of this time and commitment put towards the cause of proving our NFL player knowledge, why the hell do we leave any part of it up to kickers!?!

In my fantasy playing experience, kickers make up about 10%, if not more, of everyone's total points for the week.  That is putting 10% of your reputation in the hands of weenie kids who probably wear glasses and LARP in their free time.  Kickers are not respected by the NFL community, so why are they in fantasy?  If a stupid soccer player could do your job, then you shouldn't be on a fantasy FOOTBALL team.  The other issue with kickers is their randomness.  Because of this no one drafts kickers until the last round of drafts because they are so random and any kicker is basically as good as any other - it just comes down to opportunity.  Losing a match-up because of your kicker doing terrible or your opponent's kicker going crazy is maddening.  Leaving your team to chance just doesn't make good sense.

With that said, why don't we eliminate kickers from fantasy football.  They do no good except expose their owners for being lucky or unlucky.  Take the chance out of fantasy and keep building a moderate team an actual skill.

"How is this is swinging your Fantasy Football match ups."